tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325905062012-01-19T07:35:19.092-07:00I said that my illnesses would not define me; yet, as I type my thoughts I realize that I have let them shape my life. How do I separate myself from something that is a part of me? Do I even need to? I suffer from Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder, not to mention a long list of physical alignments. No matter what you take from reading my entries, you will see what the world is like through the eyes of someone else – someone who is still trying to find their way.Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.comBlogger2931100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-4512937732151995292011-10-10T14:36:00.001-06:002011-10-10T14:38:14.107-06:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I've published my first book. It is a teen novel - great read.

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-67480090094048507002011-04-20T09:49:00.003-06:002011-04-20T10:09:12.734-06:00

Things have been very up and down for me the past six month. The long winter isn't helping at all. I don't mind the snow, but the lack if sun is crazy. It's a good think I have my SADS lamp.I've been seeing my PDoc more frequently, because we have been changing my medication dosage a bit. I think we finally have it working. Just in time to lower it for the summer months - ug.I am slowly starting

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-26762956113572082092010-05-09T22:26:00.002-06:002010-05-09T22:47:23.544-06:00

It's odd because normally when my depression hits I want to write, I need to write. This time, however, I seem to be at a lose for words. They all play out in my mind, but I go blank when it comes to write them down. I know that I am not in a good space right now. I will be looking for a counselor again. As my FIL fights his cancer, I battle the demons in my mind...BPD is sneaking its way into my

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-83662754102640425282010-05-03T23:34:00.002-06:002010-05-04T00:07:38.878-06:00

As a child I was fortunate enough to never experience death around me. I lost my grandpa when I was six, but he was far away - I wasn't there to watch him die. I lost the odd pet, but people seem to move on from hamsters, birds, fish and rabbits. The past three years, there seems to have been a death. I have come to realize that death itself is not an ugly things. What makes death ugly is the

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-34174119460067345312010-02-27T23:41:00.001-07:002010-02-27T23:42:19.190-07:00

If you have a Facebook account, please join my cause: Eliminate the Stigma of Mental Illness.Thank you

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-30795528442495557332010-02-26T14:16:00.003-07:002010-02-26T14:34:41.951-07:00

"The way we see ourselves limits who we can be;step outside the box and we might learn something."I think the problem is that fear often keeps us inside that box:Fear of disappointing someoneFear of disappointing ourselvesFear of failure or successFear of expectationsFear of no liking what we find...I guess that what we need to look at is who we are inside the box:Are we happy?Do we like who we

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-85832395346907959162010-01-28T17:56:00.000-07:002010-01-28T17:56:07.079-07:00

Wow, what a show it was on Dr. Phil today: Mental Illness and Motherhood I sat and watched it in complete bewilderment. How dare Shelly steal Amy and Scott Kehoe's twins. Who is she to decide whether they are fit parents? I think it is absolutely absurd to base someone’s abilities to mother a child solely on their mental status. It is discrimination and purely indicative of society’s view toward

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-69998496814875874312010-01-03T00:59:00.004-07:002010-01-03T01:21:04.564-07:00

I've always been somewhat of a dreamer - in fact I used to have tons of imaginary friends and lived in various world. It was just something that I did. It was my creative imagination, as I was always told. I've always wanted to use that creative energy to write a novel and children's books, which I've done, and I'm thinking that maybe now I should take it to the next level and actually try to get

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-77150608754785368042010-01-01T18:20:00.008-07:002010-01-01T19:53:42.206-07:00

Wow, 2010! Another decade has arrived. Like many people do I find myself looking at the past year, and the past 10 years. I'm always amazed at what events stand out in my mind. My truths and my perceptions of events. Memories are funny that way - a single event experienced by many can be read in so many different ways, and there is no one or right - it is based on how we process the information

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-77853440948952580372009-12-24T00:02:00.003-07:002009-12-24T00:23:37.567-07:00

Of many things. For a lot of people with mental illness, and even many without, it is the the season of pasted on smiles that cover the sadness and bright eyes that mask the loneliness. A holiday that is meant to bring joy...seems empty and acts as nothing but a reminder of the darkness that often comes with the changing light that winter brings and another game to try and get through without any

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-73864646923146295332009-11-20T00:00:00.004-07:002009-11-20T00:37:48.070-07:00

so pathetic? Why can't I sleep at night? What am I so afraid of? Is it of the dreams? Is it of dying in my sleep? What??? Why do I need to sleep during the day or just before someone is coming home?Why am I still seeing, reading, and hearing messages in everything? What is it that I am missing or perhaps more than that, what is it that I am looking for? I'm ready for it. Bring it on.Picking

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-56442439519291539922009-11-12T19:10:00.002-07:002009-11-12T19:23:17.531-07:00

Things are going okay right now. I mean...as October moves away, things are slowly getting better. I'm not sure why Oct. is such a bad month - perhaps now it is a self-fulfiled prophacy.I still feel very lost and often find myself living outside of my body and looking in on things. I am also looking for validation again and a sense of belonging. At least I am aware of what is going on and I am

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-32532007156305242102009-10-31T15:43:00.003-06:002009-10-31T15:54:03.831-06:00

My house looks like a bomb went off, and I don't even care. I'm hunger. I'm not hungry. I sleep during the day and find myself unable to sleep at night. The darkness seems empty and lonely - for some reason it haunts me.I am looking for meaning in everything I see, hear or read.I was watching Eastwick and they were buring coffins. It was a symbol of letting go of the demons from their past that

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-27145152210209494052009-10-29T22:33:00.002-06:002009-10-29T23:01:46.470-06:00

Thanks for the suggestion of trying sunglasses while I am using the SADS lamp. It seems to be helping somewhat.I totally agree that the moments from the past create or shape those of today and tomorrow. I guess that I just sometimes wonder what it would be like if I took different forks in the road. Then I stop to ask myself what is so bad that I would even want to change things.I guess it's just

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-11793472020749818342009-10-22T22:40:00.003-06:002009-10-22T23:20:59.624-06:00

I've often wondered what it would be like to go back and change the past - undo certain things and change regrets. Maybe even have a day to just do it all and have none of it matter. However, I know that will all of that comes a price. Everything has a consequence. Every action has a reaction - no matter the road we choose there will be consequences because no matter how hard we try to run, there

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-88208972868487564052009-10-08T08:51:00.002-06:002009-10-08T09:06:23.109-06:00

And so here we are - the beginning of October. For many it is the start of the holiday season, for me it means welcoming the Winter Blues - the inability to sleep, the easy tears, the irritability and the withdrawal. I suppose that I can take comfort in knowing that it will come and it remains a constent in my life. This year I thought I could wish it away and simply ignore the signs - if only it

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-54817976216109269732009-09-23T23:57:00.003-06:002009-09-24T00:26:49.198-06:00

So, it is almost 12:00am, and likely will be after I am done typing this. Me, I am physically awake and somehow managing to get work done, and yet I am also extremely tired at the same time (so please forgive my mistakes).My company is slowly coming together. I have most of my suppliers. I am about 2/3 done my catalogue. I have a few people lined-up to book parties, and I have a friend wanting to

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-89169123746142264182009-09-11T08:35:00.002-06:002009-09-11T08:40:55.116-06:00

I had no idea how much work starting a company would be. I think the hardest part is trying to find suppliers. Plus, I am a perfectionist, so that adds extra time right there. The hardest part for me has been the spending money. I mean I am good at spending money, but I am trying to do this right and to stick with a budget. I just had no idea how hard forecasting would be. My numbers made sense

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-61015707341251024442009-09-02T09:45:00.003-06:002009-09-02T09:58:17.864-06:00

Boy, it's been awhile since I last wrote. I am sorry about that. Somehow I let everyday of this summer slide by me too quickly (in a good way). I enjoyed the time with my boys and was actually sad to see the start of the school year. However, it will be nice not to hear their silly bickering every two seconds.I got my diploma in the mail. It is so offical now. I love it. Although, now I think I

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-67647563128495115232009-07-03T10:20:00.002-06:002009-07-03T11:15:32.720-06:00

After nine years I am finally done my degree. What a long process. Oddly enough I feel a weight off my shoulders, but I also feel a lose. It gave me a purpose. It became a part of me. I guess like so many other things, I made being a student part of my identity. I am slowly learning to separate what I do from who I am.My PDoc, told me that I might want to think about applying for disability. I'm

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-55137956619380197002009-05-24T19:20:00.002-06:002009-05-24T19:34:05.646-06:00

to the voices in my head. I hate that I over think things and that I automatically go to the negative thoughts.Last February I lost a family friend to ovarian cancer. She was told at the doctor's that she had a cyst on her ovary and that there was nothing to worry about. Anyway, it turned out to be cancer and within a matter of months she passed away.Well, on Friday I was told by the same doctor

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-12456701268156209432009-05-21T16:55:00.002-06:002009-05-21T17:04:10.280-06:00

Why can't I seem to lift the fog that I feel like I've been living in. Running on a tredmill that is taking me now where, asking questions that have no answers. It seems like I am looking for disagreements and finding faults in everything. It's as though I am sabotaging my own happiness.Yet on the other hand, I'm wondering if as I find out my true self, I am losing sight of where I used to fit

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-13726923438860076522009-05-06T15:49:00.000-06:002009-05-06T15:51:03.218-06:00

“The only thing greater than the power of the mind is the courage of the heart.”- A Beautiful MindSo, I decided to start Mental Health Week with a full clean swipe of my house. It is time to let go of the clutter from my past in hopes of making room for the present and the future. I have already gotten the boys keepsake boxes down to one each. I’ve also managed to decrease mine to only

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-1871479866668983222009-04-23T00:22:00.001-06:002009-04-23T00:24:34.177-06:00

The love story of Ralph and Edna... Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-84962202272590111122009-04-08T21:04:00.004-06:002009-04-08T21:20:14.098-06:00

The world of illnesses and medications, what a joy! I saw my PDoc on Monday. I mentioned that my pain level has increased - more chest pains and numbness. I told her that I even went to emerg last week it was so bad. This says a lot; I avoid hospitals at all cost. However, my stack of meds at home were doing nothing. Plus, it was chest pains and my mom was worried. Me, I knew they wouldn't find

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-7418876074598082712009-04-05T21:17:00.003-06:002009-04-05T21:32:31.785-06:00

On Wednesday I ended up at Emerg with Chest Pains, again. I knew it would be a waste of time, but I was hoping for some good pain killers. I was there for such a long time. The wait period is crazy; I was told that it can be up to 22 hours at some hospitals. 22 Hours!!! I was there for about 9 total, to be treated for less than a hour of that.There was a really nice 91 year old who was told that

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-75306950922519145782009-03-13T19:20:00.003-06:002009-03-13T19:23:29.282-06:00

I guess I’ve known that things haven’t been right for awhile now. My first clue should have been the lack of energy; I forgot how mentally trying it is to try and keep things in perspective. If only I didn’t have to work so hard to stay in control and keep my thoughts rational.I’m back to questioning Hubby about why he loves me. Thankfully he won’t give into the game this time. I’m wondering what

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-46012595082158315142009-03-03T21:35:00.003-07:002009-03-03T21:50:43.776-07:00

I just finished teaching another course tonight. I really enjoy teaching the kids. Today I also did a presentation at my boys' school. It was fun. I love being around the kids. I just wish that I knew how to get into more schools and how to teach more courses. I keep saying this is where I will focus my energy, but when will I actually do it? I always have some excuse.When I was a little girl, I

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-40660338301030110822009-02-28T20:15:00.002-07:002009-02-28T20:31:02.584-07:00

I'm not really sure what has been going on this past week, but I have been feeling really blah; out of sorts. I know that a few weeks ago, I forgot to take my meds with me when I went away, which is really bad as for a couple of days I did without, but that was three weeks ago now and I've been really steady since then.I've been stuck in this sort of fog...living life, and yet watching life

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-86313865695040479262009-02-17T15:44:00.002-07:002009-02-17T17:01:03.888-07:00

I was about to do something out of emotion that I would have regretted later. I would have regretted it because I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I mean I have stuff that I need to write and get off my chest, but I was about to do it very publicly on my blog. For that alone I feel terrible.I am proud now though that I am able to see how my actions might have hurt others, whereas before I

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-59356069873273225892009-02-07T23:16:00.002-07:002009-02-07T23:23:17.698-07:00

I can't believe I am eleven already. When will I be 16, so I can get a car already?!My mom read to me from a journal that she kept while she was having me. I felt wierd and strange. There was one part where she wrote about sex with my dad. I want to hear that why? She forgot that was in there and thought maybe it was a bit odd to write about. I also felt cool. How many kids can look back and read

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-70465958116059975262009-01-27T14:01:00.004-07:002009-01-27T14:24:26.560-07:00

I refuse to believe that people can really be a lost cause. Yet, how much time do you invest in a relationship that is going no where? Are some wounds to deep too heal? Is respect too much to ask for?I don't think we should ever forget or ever give up on anyone. However, we only have so much energy to invest in things.Doodles turned 11 earlier this month. I can't believe how quickly the years

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-72092500269893302842009-01-21T22:22:00.004-07:002009-01-21T22:52:54.229-07:00

I don't know where my mind is at these days. I get so stuck, well fixated one idea that I can't just let things go. I get obsessed. Right now it is about getting another dog. I've wanted one for a bit now, but for the past few days I've been searching Kijiji and actually emailing people and thinking of new names and things to do with the dogs. I can picture it in our home, keeping Buzz company

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-91437963992662310982009-01-19T19:37:00.003-07:002009-01-19T19:57:54.172-07:00

Two such small words/questions that often have such big answers. All week I've been thinking about writing a post and haven't been able to find the time. Now that I am able to sit down and write, the post no longer seem relevant. I was going to write about the weather and how similar it is to my life. We were right in the middle of a cold, snowy period, which has now passed. I am not saying that

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-16162067268300845192009-01-07T15:10:00.002-07:002009-01-07T15:29:52.416-07:00

It seems like almost exactly a year ago that I was writing about death. I hope that this pattern doesn’t continue. Yesterday we went to a funeral, for Hubby's cousin - 48 years old. He died suddenly after acute heart failure due to pneumonia. It's terrible. He was so young. It was really hard to see his mother crying. It was her only son. His kids were so strong. He said some amazing things and

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-57720670209536842222009-01-04T21:06:00.003-07:002009-01-04T21:50:47.073-07:00

It is 2009. Who knows where 2008 went. Sometimes I wish that I could slow things done and at others I wish I could speed them up. I try to reflect in each year and wonder what the point is. In so many aspects of my life I am treading water, going no where. As hard as I try to get unstuck, there seems to be no point.A couple years ago I wrote a blog entry that hurt my family. Thankfully most of

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-34944722092456789792008-12-24T20:32:00.005-07:002008-12-24T20:52:33.846-07:00

To wish all of you a very Happy Christmas or holiday season, depending upon what you celebrate.It is also the season in which my depression tends to hit and hard. This year it has hit, but thankfully not hard. This is part of the reason I haven't updated in so long. Another reason is that I made most of my Christmas gifts and some for my mom to give her friends. Mr. Magoo also wanted to have a

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-48690634044494586102008-11-16T02:06:00.003-07:002008-11-16T02:38:45.444-07:00

Do we live in the physical world, the world we touch, hear, see, smell and taste, or do we live in the world we create in our own minds? How do we truly know? What I see as truths, realities and even colours varies from what someone else in the same situation, same place and same time may see as their truths, realities and colours. The way in which we describe tastes, smells, sights and the sense

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-72118297397900293752008-10-26T17:44:00.006-06:002008-10-26T18:42:43.103-06:00

As the month of October comes to an end, I can feel my mood blowing away with the fall winds. My motivation is starting to decrease; I want to sleep more; I have less interest in the things and people around me; I feel lost and confused - questioning again who I am and what I am supposed to be doing with life. It is the why phase. Being aware of it is a huge step. Being able to do something about

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-24570342558954316692008-10-21T17:59:00.002-06:002008-10-21T18:31:59.435-06:00

I'm not even sure where to begin. Sometimes life just seems to move right along and you have no choice but to go with it; other times life moves slowly and you have a chance to stop and breath. Right now, I am somewhere in the middle.Hubby and I went to Vegas over Thanksgiving Weekend (Canadian Thanksgiving). We went with some friends of ours. It was really good. It was great to get away and have

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-31584615780289427422008-10-04T18:52:00.004-06:002008-10-04T19:16:33.205-06:00

Sorry that it has been so long. I was not allowed on during the month of September. I didn't think that my boys would count blogging as an activity. They were sure making it hard for me. I was the only one in my family to last the month without TV or electronics. It is harder than I thought and yet also easier than I thought. Oddly enough though, now that I am allowed TV again, it does seem to be

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-21917926818277126312008-09-12T16:58:00.001-06:002008-09-12T16:58:32.578-06:00

Does anyone know how to create a three column blog?

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-69484548628028973932008-09-12T16:41:00.002-06:002008-09-12T16:57:54.896-06:00

It is amazing how quickly life can seem to take over everything. Somehow I always forget what it is like once school and activities start. I realize now that living in the moment is going to be harder than I originally thought. I will have to try very hard to maintain my frustrations and keep my stress level low. I will also have to work on that whole saying "no" thing. Already it is starting to

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-19571151126794834552008-09-02T18:55:00.002-06:002008-09-02T19:21:40.134-06:00

I've had so much to write, or so much that I've thought about writing since last time; yet somehow time always seems to pass me by. I suppose that it's a good thing that I've been keeping busy. I am finding there is a nice balance in my life now. I have things to do and time to myself. I am no longer afraid to be left with my own thoughts. The moment that something from my past enters my mind, I

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-46982048822717285272008-08-25T18:22:00.002-06:002008-08-25T18:38:09.609-06:00

As summer's end draws near, I already miss having my boys at home and dread the hectic schedule that comes with school and all the other activities. Yet, in some strange way I also can't wait for the moment to come. For me it will be like a new beginning. The start to a year where I hope to live in the now, where I hope to appreciate all that is around me in the moment, where I take control of

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-37035459646662122932008-08-13T10:19:00.002-06:002008-08-13T10:21:05.658-06:00

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-63626384546429653322008-08-11T16:00:00.003-06:002008-08-11T16:18:37.658-06:00

The journey of life - opportunities of growth. No one knows this better than me. It's not linear, it's circular; often repeating what has already been done or relearning what you thought you already knew.Learning a skill and mastering a skill are two very different things. Often I wonder if it is ever possible to master a skill at all.I found myself in a moment of self-pity. A silly moment really

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-76288051363477340862008-08-04T10:36:00.003-06:002008-08-04T10:38:26.135-06:00

Today is my 31st birthday. As many people do on their birthday, I find myself looking back over the past year – reflecting on all that has happened. I used to look at in terms of accomplishments versus failures. Often my failures won. It was all the things I had planned on doing that for whatever reason was unable to achieve. This year is different. Too be honest I’m not even sure what my initial

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-64681982372183833372008-07-16T11:57:00.006-06:002008-07-16T12:10:20.898-06:00

Another rainy day

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-11168543719357877082008-07-16T11:13:00.004-06:002008-07-16T12:11:01.289-06:00

I read this funny saying the other day and it actually got me thinking, mind you most things do. I used to wish that I would be somebody when I grew-up,maybe I should have been more specific.I think many of us had the same wish, but we all forgot to define what that word somebody meant. For some of us it meant being famous, for others it meant being a successful professional and still for others

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-14175522681559393062008-07-09T18:21:00.003-06:002008-07-09T18:27:03.733-06:00

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-79349950638837940682008-07-04T17:35:00.002-06:002008-07-04T18:18:42.986-06:00

The first week is done and out of the way, yeah. It's strange that it somehow seems hard to switch from the school routine to the summer routine. You'd think it would be easy to switch, but it's not. The kids seem lost and out of place. All they want to do is play electronics. I'm sure that will wear off. We have a system. Each one gets 12 dollars in Monopoly money, they have to pay so much per 1

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-77741338393213595612008-07-03T16:43:00.006-06:002008-07-03T17:10:19.464-06:00

Boy it's been awhile. Let's see if I still remember how to do this. I spend most of June catching up on things that didn't get done in April or May. I had the chicken pox and pneumonia. However, life didn't stop moving by quickly. I have finished one more course towards my degree, leaving me on my last one. Eight years to do, yet through it all I kept going. It might not sound like much, but

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-54342202482720889562008-05-13T18:43:00.003-06:002008-05-13T18:57:04.473-06:00

Wow, has it really been almost a month? I wish I could say that a lot has been going on, but I can't. We've been sharing germs at our house. I even got the chickenpox. I didn't get them very badly, maybe a dozen or so spots. I had them as a child, but my body was/is s busy fighting off this cold thing that my guards are down. Poor Doodles got them for the third time.I thought of blogging a few

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-73544880198010612172008-04-16T18:09:00.005-06:002008-04-16T18:18:41.556-06:00

There are worse things to be addicted to! And yes these are all mine, and no it is not all of them.

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-2288868388802110502008-04-10T10:01:00.007-06:002008-04-10T10:27:17.739-06:00

Mindfulness is the English translation of the Pali word 'Sati.' Sati is an activity. Mindfulness is awareness of one's thoughts, actions or motivations.Mindfulness points one in the direction of being aware of the present moment.Mindfulness points to: Being aware of and paying attention to the moment in which we find ourselves. Mindfulness is a generalization about paying attention and being

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-22380637021313651932008-04-09T11:36:00.004-06:002008-04-10T10:26:59.089-06:00

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-43759304740336350962008-04-06T12:03:00.005-06:002008-04-06T12:34:28.276-06:00

I've been thinking a lot since my last appointment with my PDac. I mentioned how I felt like things were out of control, but not in the sense that things were going wrong. In fact that was part of the problem; I didn't think that there was anything within my grasp to fix. By nature I am a fixer. I stick my head into other people's business, with good intention, I volunteer for so many causes, I

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-72343294520773884262008-03-25T14:42:00.006-06:002008-03-25T15:24:32.900-06:00

"I wanted you to know that I gave you up only because I loved youand wanted what I thought was the very best for you."- My motherIf you have not seen the movie "Juno" (and would like to), I recommend that you stop reading now. A few weeks ago I went to see the movie with a dear friend of mine. It was really well done. Boy did I cry.It was so interesting to me to watch Juno deal with her unplanned

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-12200410031240259172008-03-17T14:27:00.002-06:002008-03-17T14:31:44.797-06:00

I think that one of the hardest parts about suffering from a mental illness is the inability to make definitive decisions. There are times when people ask me things like "this of that" questions and I honestly don't know the answer. It's as though I can't find it in my mind. Things get misfilled. You can add to that the fact that I don't want to make the wrong decisions, I want to please them and

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-2516051481653114102008-03-01T20:34:00.003-07:002008-03-01T20:59:26.763-07:00

I decided that I should so a post on medication. I'm often asked about my medication when I give public talks about depression. I get questions on side effects (both short and long term), dozes, types...you name it. Some I cannot answer. I am not a doctor. I can only speak from my experiences and from what I know. This section is based on that.You need to know that medications work very

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-65080964098466042282008-02-22T09:59:00.002-07:002008-02-22T11:45:21.421-07:00

What a week last week was. I am so glad that it is over. This week flew by. I felt like I was recovering from the week before.The day that we lost a dear friend, I ended up in the emergency room at 3:00 am. At first I thought I was having a major panic attack, due to the death, family dynamics, hubby being away...however when the pain was only getting worse, I realized that I should have it

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-80205223140987641912008-02-12T22:32:00.003-07:002008-02-12T23:05:46.976-07:00

I'm not sure how to write this entry today. I'm in a dark and lonely spot right now. Surround in a cloud of confusion. Unfortunately there was a death in our family earlier today. It was a very close family friend of our family and through marriage, also a member. She was relatively young and healthy. Very unexpected. Cancer is a horrible beast. One without words and that often creeps with

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-72118656646676909182008-02-07T20:57:00.000-07:002008-02-07T21:40:49.682-07:00

that people tend to wait until death is around them before they start living? Should we not make everyday, or at least try to make everyday, one worth living?Right now cancer seems to be taking over the people near my family. It's really scary. It does help to put other things into perspective though. It is all to easy to let negative energy consume one's life (and no I'm not talking about myself

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-21581642438570984082008-01-21T09:14:00.000-07:002008-01-21T09:54:08.565-07:00

It's strange to me that I've become such a slack blogger. I used to love it. It was very therapeutic to me. I think part of me regrets making it so public, people know who I am, yet another part of me is glad that I did. I don't want to hide behind the stigma of a mental illness. However, it became a judgement tool. A way to point fingers, and unfortunately it hurt people. Once that began, my

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-34547007971833982132007-11-19T10:57:00.000-07:002007-11-19T11:01:08.154-07:00

I was just wondering what type of treatments people use and how they find them working. On one of my disscussion boards, through facebook, we are talking about ECT. Some people say it is old school, while others say it is still valuable.I have never gone through ECT, but know people who have. They all said that they would do it again.I know that for me, I would try it if I needed to. I know what

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-46569844537875587492007-11-13T19:39:00.000-07:002007-11-13T19:50:02.062-07:00

"You're only jealous because the voices don't talk to you."It's odd, it doesn't feel like so long ago since I last blogged. I suppose that it's a good thing time if going so quickly.Things have been moving along for me. I'm in a lot of pain physically, but am trying not to focus on it. I hope to get all of this worked out soon. My GP and PDoc disagree on my meds right now. However, life is what

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-2158410308690403622007-10-30T18:25:00.000-06:002007-10-30T18:28:20.824-06:00

Tomorrow is Halloween; my favourite time of year. For the most part my yard is done and I am ready to go. The silly wind keeps blowing everything away though. I suppose that it is better than snow.Things have been going okay for me. I still think that I’ve taken on too much for the year. Perhaps that should be my new year’s resolution for 2008. Although, I have to say that for the most part I’m

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-5247485088128107232007-10-03T16:51:00.000-06:002007-10-03T16:55:20.399-06:00

It’s funny how relationships work. I’ve often asked if love is enough to keep a family together, and I truly believe that it has to be. Hubby and I seem to go full circle and fight/disagree about the same things every couple of months or so, sometimes more often. I’m not talking about small things, I’m talking about major issues:- Money- Parenting styles- Values-

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-65942595448421096052007-10-01T22:45:00.000-06:002007-10-01T23:05:16.209-06:00

Its funny, or maybe strange...I go to a PDoc for help and yet I turn away from her suggestions. I went to the information session on the advance learning skills course at the hospital and after discussion with my family and friends, I've decided that I won't be doing it. I walked away with a funny feeling, almost like I didn't belong there. It seemed like in many ways I was in a higher space than

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-36452288679964459502007-09-26T10:26:00.000-06:002007-09-26T10:27:27.365-06:00

It is truly amazing how much having my own space in the house has made a difference. I finally feel like I am getting a handle and some direction on my company aspirations and my hobbies. I know that my scrapbooks will have to continue to be on-hold. I mean what do they care? I haven’t updated my boy’s books since 2004ish. The photos are all in envelopes and ready to go for 2004, 2005 and 2006.

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-28388260857149272472007-09-13T11:48:00.000-06:002007-09-13T11:53:49.968-06:00

It sure feels like forever since I last wrote. I forgot how busy things get once school is back in. Not to mention the need to get back into a routine, which I seem to be doing very nicely. I’ve started scheduling my time. I’ve set aside specific time for specific tasks.The boys seem to be enjoying school so far. This is a relief. Mr. Magoo was not looking forward to going back at all. He’s got

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-12785196725641601392007-08-15T15:54:00.000-06:002007-08-15T15:56:34.422-06:00

I'm back from the mountains and feel well rested. It's always great to just up and leave things behind. We're setting up a craft/office room for me in the basement. A special retreat for me. I think that will be helpful as well.I'm looking forward to Hubby being home for a few weeks. It's been so long for him. I know that the rest will do him well.My journey continues...answers will come in time.

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-77653284103742924352007-08-08T19:58:00.000-06:002007-08-08T20:08:05.444-06:00

I got my new tattoo today and one of my old ones re-touched a bit. I love them both. The old one still needs a bit of work, but that will all come in time.I am in the mountains with my mom and boys. I love being here. It is so peaceful and somehow feels so removed from everything else.The guy who did my tattoo was great. He was so nice. we got along really well. This is so important because it is

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-16687567280807094772007-08-07T01:20:00.000-06:002007-08-07T01:42:18.442-06:00

I had a friend ask me that simple question today, and I wasn't really able to answer it. The simple fact of the matter is that I'm not really sure. Does that seem strange?I feel like one big blob of emotion. I'm angry, but am not sure at what. I'm sad, but I don't really know why? Yet somehow even within those two unpleasant emotions I am happy. I am blessed with what I have in life, but I am not

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-17859797591612763932007-08-07T01:17:00.000-06:002007-08-07T01:18:36.763-06:00

You Are 48% WeirdoYou're definitely quite strange, but you can act like a normal person when you have to.(But just because you can act normally, it certainly doesn't mean you want to!)You have normal aspects to your personality... but you usually don't choose to emphasize them.Are You A Weirdo?

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-71560788876956484192007-08-05T18:44:00.000-06:002007-08-05T18:48:05.618-06:00

I loved the comments that SeaRabbit and Wondering Coyote left on my last post. I loved them because they made me think and feel. When I started this blog, I was hoping to share my story, help other people feel less alone and less afraid. I never realized how much I would learn from blogging. I learn stuff not just upon reflection of what I write and through the therapeutic release of letting it

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-55066047638265481112007-08-01T11:25:00.000-06:002007-08-01T11:39:41.250-06:00

I can't believe that it is already August. Where does the time go? I think we've had on of the hottest summers in record. mI really don't like the heat. Thankfully it seems to be cooling down a bit now.Things have been going pretty good. I'm still really tiered, but am trying to overcome that and just push through it. I wonder if it's the meds, the depression of my physical illnesses. Perhaps

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-86543173005194729402007-07-15T22:44:00.000-06:002007-07-17T15:23:30.132-06:00

In a world were I fear abandonment more than anything, it is time for me to learn that I am not alone. It is time for me to let go of my fears and tame the mini panic attacks within.We were at the mall the other day, we being Hubby, the boys and I. Somehow I went one way and they went another. My heart started racing and my first thought "They left me." I could feel myself starting to shake

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-6860207329294156782007-07-10T17:58:00.000-06:002007-07-10T18:02:32.147-06:00

Today started out as an okay day. I slept in and woke up just as tiered as I was when I went to bed, which is certainly not unusual. I got some homework done and then my Kindred Spirit stopped by for a visit. At about two thirty I started to feel uncontrollably sleeping. I even asked her to go home so I could have a nap. I woke up from my nap in a great deal of pain. It could be caused from my

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-88075119885569434022007-07-02T16:34:00.000-06:002007-07-02T17:06:23.567-06:00

So, I didn't qualify for DBT. I suppose that I could look at that as a good thing; I mean they think I am too healthy. I will be starting an advanced life skills class in September. It's supposed to be pretty intense.Finally finished one of my courses. I only got 62% as my final grade, but it's done. It's out of the way. One day I will be done them all. I stressed a bit. I mean, me the

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-54008290928322749162007-06-15T22:12:00.000-06:002007-06-15T22:13:20.733-06:00

I’m doing well. I got one of my assignments done and handed in. It felt really go. I wish that I could get a handle on everything else.I’m stuck in that that in-between world right now. You know that place between thoughts and reality. That place where the mind over thinks everything. I feel like I am living in a fog.That’s always been my biggest problem…over thinking. Full of ideas and opinions.

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-43434339418231076142007-06-10T19:31:00.001-06:002007-06-10T19:31:49.761-06:00

Well, we dropped Chloe off at her new house tonight. It sure wasn’t easy. She was such a playful beautiful dog. It’s with mixed emotion that I left her behind. I am sad. I am suddenly lonely and I am angry. I feel like we are in some way betraying her, like we gave up on her or didn’t do everything possible to make her work in our home. I mean you don’t just get rid of kids when things are going

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-27270544342540166882007-05-29T23:09:00.000-06:002007-05-29T23:11:14.748-06:00

If only life was like that. Too bad every time I say, touch or do something it proves how wrong this theory really is.Why is it that people are so comfortable talking behind people’s backs and not to their face? I am the black sheep. I tend to say things to people as they are. I am ready to accept the consequences for my actions, good or bad. I stand by what I say and try to back it up. This

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-86247838569524422602007-05-19T17:00:00.000-06:002007-05-19T17:01:12.821-06:00

Wow, has it really been that long since I last posted? Things have been going really well for me. I think we finally have me meds balanced correctly. I am sleeping well and feel really alive. I am ready to love myself again. It’s a great feeling. I am finding satisfaction in things were there used to be none. I am catching up on my school work and out and about a lot more than before. There are

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-15408677734634611882007-04-19T11:10:00.000-06:002007-04-19T11:20:12.030-06:00

You have to meet other people's needs before you meet your own.If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.You have to finish everything every day.You should always be busy.Leisure is a luxury.You have to be all things to all people.Sleep is for wimps.A women's work is never done.If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right.If you don't work hard long hours, you won't get

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-4936772841637612882007-04-17T14:10:00.000-06:002007-04-17T14:11:20.197-06:00

It’s funny how I can go from being such a regular blogger to such an absent blogger. I wonder if like many things in my life it was an addiction that I am now somehow trying to shack off, or perhaps I have traded it in for the world of Webkinz. Yes, that’s right I am addicted to Webinz. I love playing in the arcade. So many of the games remind me of the past. It’s become not only a way to escape,

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-7015476728553073152007-04-06T14:29:00.000-06:002007-04-06T14:45:21.874-06:00

Wow, I can’t believe that it has been so long since I last wrote. Spring Break turned out to be very busy. I had so much fun with the boys. We spend last weekend in the mountains for Doodles’ last hockey tournament. It was great. The boys won the street hockey portion and came in second for the overall tournament. I think that the boys were a little disappointed, but they shouldn’t have been.

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-82493617027389253302007-03-26T16:27:00.000-06:002007-03-26T16:28:30.504-06:00

So, my mom and I went to seem y PDoc this morning. I think that it went really well. She was pleased that I was able to talk to her about my concerns with the report. She said that it was purely based on the information that had been presented to her through me and past reports.After calming down over the week and talking things out with her, I can see how she may have arrived at some of her

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-48933416379961969142007-03-19T22:30:00.001-06:002007-03-19T22:30:57.462-06:00

I spend most of today worrying and crying about the report. I should not be around people when I am like that. I like to talk things out. Talk to anyone who will listen. Today that happened to include two moms and Mr. Magoo’s teacher. Brilliant right! I mean why not let them know that my p-doc put the words abuse in my report. Thankfully she knows me better than that, but is didn’t help my day go

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-39230868301745366232007-03-18T17:48:00.000-06:002007-03-18T17:51:50.677-06:00

So I’ve seen my PDoc about Four times, each time for an hour or less with the exception of the first visit which was an-hour and a-half. I thought that the visits were going really well. In fact, I was getting along rather well with her. I was able to talk about my physical health and my concerns with Mr. Magoo. Other than the first apportionment very little time was spend talking about

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-62011130695064567672007-03-15T13:56:00.000-06:002007-03-15T14:02:14.083-06:00

Thirteen of the Self-Help Books I Have on my ShelveTen Days to Self-EsteemThe Depression WorkbookOvercoming Depression one step at a timeMind over MoodStop Walking on EggshellsWords the Heal the BluesArtist's WayCreative Visualization (Shakti Gawain)The Blue Day BookThe Book for People who Do Too MuchPooh's Little Instruction BookMeditations (Shakti Gawain)Working in the Dark

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-77934049409510408922007-03-13T13:24:00.000-06:002007-03-13T13:25:35.160-06:00

Boy has this time change really thrown me off. I mean it’s only an hour and yet I feel like I am totally out of it. The boys were late for school yesterday and today.Truth be told I had time to write this week. I didn’t because I was worried that I would never leave the internet. I have been easily distracted. I think I’m avoiding school work. You see, I seem to be forgetting things a lot lately.

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-48033047845190275892007-03-06T19:12:00.000-07:002007-03-06T19:48:14.830-07:00

So much for a daily blog. I didn’t realize how busy life as a SAHM would be. Then you add all of the other things that I do and time seems to fly by. I think too that I want to write when I have something to say and not just for the sake of writing. It’s been an interesting week. Poor Doodles came home from school sick on Tuesday afternoon and stayed home the rest of the week. He was finally

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-84312237801846568332007-02-27T19:29:00.000-07:002007-03-06T19:28:05.930-07:00

I can’t believe how tiered I am today. It’s like my mind and body have just shut down – no energy to move and no ability to think. It is a very frustrating place to be. I did manage to get some work done this morning. I also had a chance to finally clean up my computer files. I didn’t dare do any school work though. I’m not sure that my brain would have retained any of the information.Being

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-33418713679508551132007-02-26T18:18:00.000-07:002007-03-06T19:28:44.354-07:00

I haven’t been sleeping well again. I seem to have gone from one illness to another. I’ve had this terrible tummy bug. I haven’t been able to eat much, and I seem to be living in the bathroom. Although, today it has been mostly better. That being said, I still have this funny pins & needles feeling on the whole left side of my body.I made the family some home-made chicken noodle soup. It worked

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-20063870240458088422007-02-21T09:33:00.000-07:002007-02-21T09:35:04.958-07:00

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-6472114020111305112007-02-21T09:27:00.000-07:002007-02-21T09:28:01.545-07:00

I cried myself to sleep last night. I haven’t done that in a long time. I think it was a mixture of tears of joy and tears of anger, pain, guilt and regret. A lot of the moods that hit people with BPD are situational. Last night was no exception to that rule.On Friday the boys kept telling me that the basement floor was wet. I finally went down to have a look. Sure enough the floor was soaked. I

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-15594294654946182562007-02-20T10:05:00.001-07:002007-03-06T19:43:54.958-07:00

Wow has it ever been a long week. I can’t believe that it has been a week since I last wrote an entry. I ended up with a bad flu. It was terrible. I spend most of it in bed. Tuesday and Wednesday I could barely move. I was so dizzy and tiered. Thursday was a bit better, but I still had a slight fever and was very tiered. I ended up working lunch. It was actually nice to get out of the house.

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32590506.post-66432450255604924482007-02-13T22:22:00.000-07:002007-03-06T19:29:56.018-07:00

Hubby Come Home…What a day! I miss Hubby so much. My head cold is worse than yesterday, almost flu like. I am stuffed up, sore throat and achy everywhere. I have no energy. Doodles was still sick this morning so he stayed home. With no energy, I allowed Mr. Magoo to stay home with us. Told him he could have a mental health day. For the most part he was really good. Played quietly and stayed out

Bronyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09053308791826914780noreply@blogger.com1