Monday, November 19, 2012

Snow and Light

This this season to get SADs, falalalala lala la la

All things considered, this time of the year hasn't been as hard on me as it often is. I think part of it is because I am enjoying my writing, and I've been busy crafting.

Of course my energy is lower; I am more sensitive; I am more irritable, but I am, so far, able to manage it.

I love the clean white snow and the way the sun reflects off of it. I find an odd comfort in it. It really is a winter wonderland.

As much as I don't like Christmas; I am starting to really enjoy the holiday. I just struggle with how commercialised it all is. I struggle with the extra financial stress; I know it is a really hard time for Hubby. I struggle with the need to schedule the time so everyone is happy. I struggle to create new traditions for the ones that have been lost.

I over think it all. I know that. Hey, it's who I am.

I'm having a hard time with physical contact right now. I think my fibromyalgia is flaring up. My chest pains have been crazy. Stress? Weather change? Lack of light? Diet? Pick one. Pick them all.

I did my first public book reading/signing. No one came. Well one family friend, my mom, my dad, and Hubby (only because I forced him). Don't get me started on that one.

My MIL worked a craft show for me. It happened to have been on the same day as the my book thing. She said it was very slow. Craft shows are very hit and miss like that. I try to look at it a an opportunity for exposure.

I wish that I could just somehow break into a niche mark or reach the right target audience. Everything that I love to do and want to make a living at, costs so much. Poor Hubby works so hard and I just seem to loose it all in my many "hobbies/businesses".

I still find it interesting how I can sell anybody else's products or services, but not my own. Part of it is a sense of guilt. How can I charge people for something that I love to do? Part of it is a lack of self-worth; why would anyone want to buy my stuff? Part of it is a pricing issue; how do I decide what my stuff is worth?

Again, I over think.

For now, I will work on my Christmas crafts and actually finish my edits. One step at a time.

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