Lost Cause - a defeated cause or a cause for which defeat is inevitable

I refuse to believe that people can really be a lost cause. Yet, how much time do you invest in a relationship that is going no where? Are some wounds to deep too heal? Is respect too much to ask for?

I don't think we should ever forget or ever give up on anyone. However, we only have so much energy to invest in things.

Doodles turned 11 earlier this month. I can't believe how quickly the years past. It was a nice quite day, but there was one phone call missing. One "Happy Birthday' that he wanted to hear. The call never came, nor was there a simple email. To them, his birthday went unnoticed, or certainly unacknowledged. He was hurt...I was surprised. Hubby and Mr.Magoo weren't. They no longer expect anything. To them Doodles and I are holding on to something that should be gone and done with. It's family though. How do you let go of family?

Anyway today, seven days later, a card arrived in the mail for Doodles. A card in the mail. Keep in mind that to walk to their house is maybe ten minutes. This shouldn't have been a surprise after their Christmas gifts were mailed, but I couldn't help cry inside for Doodles. It is one thing for them to give up on me, consider me a lost cause, as Hubby now does them, but the kids. The boys? Really? Can people be that mean?

So now we're planning Doodles' party. On his list he has their kids. Why not? Family right. Hubby wants him to take them off. Says it shouldn't only come from us and that it is them who are the lost cause. I'm torn here, what message is that sending to Doodles? I've taught them that everyone matters, that people are more than their actions. I wonder though...maybe sometimes things really are just empty on the inside.

Is it wrong to give possibility and hope to my boys that they will have a positive influence on people in the community? Should we not try to warm the hearts of those who seem lost? Empathy!

The hardest thing about having any sort of invisible illness (mental or physical) is battling the stigma; even harder than that is fighting the stigma within your own family.