Déjà vu - Start to the New Year

It seems like almost exactly a year ago that I was writing about death. I hope that this pattern doesn’t continue. Yesterday we went to a funeral, for Hubby's cousin - 48 years old. He died suddenly after acute heart failure due to pneumonia. It's terrible. He was so young. It was really hard to see his mother crying. It was her only son. His kids were so strong. He said some amazing things and put together a wonderful video. I can't even begin to imagine his pain.

It reinforced how much I don't want a funeral when I die. No church, no cemetery, no black. If people need to do something for closure I want them to have a celebration of my life. A moving forward as I go from one journey to another, right along beside them. I want my ashes to be spread out over the ocean, maybe flowing from a teapot as the boat moves along the water.

The minister spoke some very moving words. He talked about the value of family, the reminded everyone that please, thank you, excuse me...are all very valuable words. Words that society, in general, seems to be forgetting how to use. He talked about telling people you love them while you can. He talk about the power of forgiveness and the ability to say I'm sorry. It was very moving.

I found myself thinking of so many things. My life and the life of so many other people. The way that illness can rip families apart. How does that happen? Is it fear, ignorance...what? I know that mental illness is no excuse for behaviour, but it certainly is an explanation. The world is interpreted differently for us. We see things in twisted ways when the clouds have rolled in.

Enough of that. Move forward and believe.