A New Month

Sorry that it has been so long. I was not allowed on during the month of September. I didn't think that my boys would count blogging as an activity. They were sure making it hard for me. I was the only one in my family to last the month without TV or electronics. It is harder than I thought and yet also easier than I thought. Oddly enough though, now that I am allowed TV again, it does seem to be on more often. Although, I no longer need it to help me fall asleep; in fact, I actually find it somewhat annoying. I do however, still need it on when I am doing my homework. I am now behind on that. I find myself were time goes to. Perhaps I have taken the concept of living in the now a bit to seriously. I may need a bit more short term planning.

I have been reading/listening to a number of books. It is interesting to see how many different roads of thoughts there are on the topic of success and happiness. If we followed them all, we would be walking around like dogs chasing our tails. I suppose it is about taking what makes sense to you from each one. It is about looking for ways that they apply to your life. Even more, it is looking at the reality of implementation. What are you prepared to invest, how much are you willing to change...

I wasn't overly fond of The Secret. This whole idea of ask and the universe will provide. I am more of a get off of your ass and do it yourself kind of person. Create the opportunities. Work hard. Treat others how you want to be treated. See the glass as half full.

I really enjoyed If I Get to Five or something like that. It focused on the importance of resilience and inner strength. I also enjoyed The Audacity of Hope. It offered perceptive on the past and the future and how everything links together.

I've also taken the time to start reading novels again. I just finished Lullabies for Little Criminals and am almost done My Sister's Keeper. I forgot what it is like to escape into another world. A world where the problems aren't your own. A world where the imagination can take you just about anywhere.

My physio program is going really well. I had no idea how much work it would be. I am so tiered when I get home it's crazy. The pain level seems to come and go, as it did before. My left knee seems worse. I can certainly tell that I am gaining slightly more flexibility and strength, although not much. I suppose in time it will all come. I've also been trying my best to keep up the stretches at home. Learning to live with chronic pain is like learning to live with anything else. It took me almost 25 years to live with my mental health problems; hopefully, it won't take me as long to learn how to live with this.

The process of biofeedback is really interesting. Half the time when I think I am relaxed I actually am not. I found the muscle relaxation to be the hardest. I think I keep my muscles tense to protect my joints from the pain. The tension has become my shield. When doing the sensory visualisation I found myself thinking a lot about the sense of smell. It was amazingly calming.

I can tell that the days are getting shorter. I've been trying to get back into the habit of sitting by my lamp. For me this always seems to be such a hard habit to form. I'm not really sure why. I can tell you one thing for certain, sleep, exercise and diet definitely play a huge role in mental health. Take the time, it is worth it.