Chronic Pain and my Emotions

As the month of October comes to an end, I can feel my mood blowing away with the fall winds. My motivation is starting to decrease; I want to sleep more; I have less interest in the things and people around me; I feel lost and confused - questioning again who I am and what I am supposed to be doing with life. It is the why phase. Being aware of it is a huge step. Being able to do something about it is even more important.

I have my SADS lamp, which I need to use more often. I have to call my PDoc to talk about possibly upping my medication until May. Another huge part is talking about my feelings. Being aware of my thoughts and feelings. Evaluating the validity. Questioning the rationality behind them.

My physical therapy is going well. I don't want it to come to an end. I enjoy the people. I enjoy the help. I like the atmosphere. I feel safe doing my exercises. I could go on and on. I like how the program is geared towards life’s daily activities. The strategies are designed for each individual and also created to help the individual balance the choric pain with the demands of daily living.

Thursday was an interesting day. I truly believe that I was where I was meant to be. At the last minute, I decide to attend the session on pain and emotion, which I've already attended. There was a man in the class whose pain is so bad that he is completely lost. All of his hope is gone and death has become a very real option in his mind. Intently, I felt the connection with his thoughts and his pain. Instantly, I understood the anger, the frustration and the loose of everything. I've been there. I've thought the same thoughts. The ability to move past that and get help is so important.

For me the choice has always been an easy one - mental health before physical health. Without the mental stability and strength the physical pain becomes too much to handle. Emotions certainly alter the way in which pain is felt and perceived. It adds to the strain and to the burden over everything. It is an extra weight. Thankfully I have the strong support system and a GP who is able to see the importance of mental health education, medication and counselling. Effective pain management must include a multidisciplinary approach.

My recommendation for anyone who feels lost and desperate, go get help. In Edmonton the UofA hospital has a Psychiatric Treatment Clinic/Quick Intervention Clinic. (I believe it is also open in the St. Albert Hospital a few days a week.)It is wonderful. I've been a few times and was always seen promptly. Another option of course is any hospital emergency room. The problem I find there is that often you are pushed aside or not truly seen as an emergency priority. Never question your pain, emotional or physical. It is very real and you are entitled to treatment just the same as anyone else. If you don't believe that treatment has been received you have a right to stay in the hospital. Too often we take that right for granted. The hospital is required to treat you. They can not remove you unless you become abusive or aggressive towards staff or others.

The unfortunate reality is that some doctors still ignore the connection between emotions and pain. Pain in itself is an emotion. It is the mind's way of reacting to whatever trouble is occurring within the body.

The biggest struggle is that to find any type of good emotional help is difficult and to that the need to find good chronic pain treatment and it can all become way too overwhelming. After months, or in my case and that of many others, we lose faith in the medical system. A chronic pain patient has every right to believe that his or her doctor will listen sympathetically and prescribe the appropriate treatment, but as many of us have come to realize that is not always the reality.

It's important to be clear about your pain and explain the way it impacts your life when you're talking to your doctor. Don't be intimidated. Stand your ground, calmly. Then, if you're not satisfied, press harder. But remember that the most important thing is to create a relationship with your doctor in which you're a team. It can be surprisingly difficult to describe how pain feels. We have a lot of words for pain. Use them with your doctor. Note the type of pain (burning, dull, sharp?) and the triggers (environment, activity). It's important to accurately express your pain to your doctor. Neither minimizing it because you don't want to bother the doctor nor exaggerating it because you're worried no one will take you seriously will help you get the targeted relief you need.