quelqu'un, cierto, qualcheduno, jemand - No matter the language it all just means Somebody

I read this funny saying the other day and it actually got me thinking, mind you most things do.

I used to wish that I would be somebody when I grew-up,
maybe I should have been more specific.

I think many of us had the same wish, but we all forgot to define what that word somebody meant. For some of us it meant being famous, for others it meant being a successful professional and still for others it might have meant being a parent. I think for me it meant in some way being successful or even famous. It also meant having that fairytale lifestyle. Somehow I never made it; now I realize that I did. The problem for me was defining myself through other people's eyes and standards, not my own.

I think a small part of me still wants something more. I know what it is, but I'm scared of reaching for it. I also keep telling myself that I need to be someone else, someone with a huge network or fame to make it work. The thing is that famous people weren't always famous, they created it. I don't want fame in the movie sense of the word, I'm not even sure that I want fame. I want the reach and the publicity, but for the purpose of having a voice and making a difference. I want to leave my ripples in life.

It is not how many ripples you leave,
but how far they reach and how long they last that makes the difference.

Sorry, this isn't make much sense here. Let me start back at the begging with my initial thought - the idea of being a somebody. How can such a simple word be so tricky to define? In it's simplest form it means some person, it is unspecified and unknown who the person is, without further detail. Generally we've come to know the term to signify someone of importance. Even Charlotte knew this when she wrote Some Pig in her web to describe Wilber.


For me, I think it meant having it all - the career and the family. Part of it was also the draw to fame, my craving for attention and to be accepted. Eventually though, it has come to mean someone of importance, someone who makes a difference in life, someone who can change stigmas and remove barriers. However, I still get stuck in this idea that I am that unknown person. I use this as an excuse. To be honest, I really don't know how to get past that. I want so badly to educate the world on mental illness, be the face to show that it is nothing be embarrassed of. I want to break down walls and reduce the stigma. I realize that I do it somewhat on a smaller scale, but I want to have that reach. I want to be out there.


I just have this story that I want to tell, I have this passion and fire within me, but I stay stuck on the details. I get caught up in so many other things and ideas. I allow small obstacles or failures to shut me down. I wonder sometimes if I need to change, or if my definition of somebody need to change?