Sunday, March 18, 2007

PDocs = Quacks

So I’ve seen my PDoc about Four times, each time for an hour or less with the exception of the first visit which was an-hour and a-half. I thought that the visits were going really well. In fact, I was getting along rather well with her. I was able to talk about my physical health and my concerns with Mr. Magoo. Other than the first apportionment very little time was spend talking about relationships and parenting. The, last week she gave it to me…the report that she sent over to my GP. What a shock. Was I reading about myself? If so, she sure did have some interesting interpretations and use a heck of a lot of creative license in developing my behaviours.

Where do I even begin? I took the day Thursday to sort of laugh the report off. I mean whatever right. Plus, I was kept myself busy. Friday, it started to hit me more and more as the day go on…the words I mean. It was terrible…full of lies. Although I tried to keep myself busy, my mind wouldn’t stop wondering back to the report. I shared it with Hubby. He was outraged. Not aware of what goes on behind the doors, or what I say he wondered what was said to make her think such things. Great, he thought this was my fault. I started trying to replay most of the conversations and think about my answers on the forms…the only conclusion she put my “profile” and added her own interpretations without even listening to my words.

I also told my Kindred Spirit about the report. She too was shocked. Then my mother. Well, talk about angry. She couldn’t believe what I told her was in the report.

I cannot deny something that has never happened. It is a statement…
  • I was NOT abused as a child.
  • I have NEVER physical abused my children. Nor would I ever. I would sooner hurt myself.
  • My illnesses have not affected any friendships. I’ve kept them well hidden outside the home.
  • I was never anorexic.
  • I was NOT the class clown.
  • I will NOT say or do anything to get my way. While I may try to say a few selfish or manipulative things it never goes any further. I would never do anything.
  • I do NOT continue to have frequent angry outbursts. My last one was in October and that had been the first one in years.
  • I was only terminated ONCE from work due to personal differences with colleagues. The other times I was either working contract or left because I was bored. Most employers have asked me to stay on and maintained some sort of relationship with me.
  • Any verbal/emotional abuse was minimal and is no longer present.
  • The behaviour that I am concerned will impact my children is the sleeping, the missing out on activities, the crying, the bickering with their father. I am a worrier that’s what I do. I also tend to spoil them somewhat. I also worry that my worrying causes them to worry. I am concerned that they to will become perfectionists and their worst self-critiques. Nothing more!!!
  • Hubby has not noticed my weird nightly muscle spasms since 1995, it has only been since about September.
  • I don’t want to gain weight because it is unhealthy, not because I have an eating disorder.
  • We did not travel frequently to Australia and England when I was a child, only South Africa.
  • I have NEVER had any periods with increased spending or irregularly high libido. Nor have I had periods of needing reduced amounts of sleep.
  • I think it might be important to include the date rape when I was 14.
  • She got the ages wrong for drinking and left out the smoking.
  • My educational section was not complete.

I think the biggest part was that she seems to think I am still the person I was years ago. I have worked so hard to no longer be that person. It really bothered me. I also disliked how many times she used the words child abuse or denies any physical abuse. I am not that person. I have never been that person. I will never be that person. My Hubby and Mom are both writing her notes expressing their disappointment in what was written about me.

Now I know why people don’t want to go see them. This weekend I have been so depressed. I mean I think it was sliding a bit since Hubby’s been away. I’ve been eating less and sleeping more, but then in then I have also been dealing with the flu, the stomach flu and the odd numbness. I often wonder how other people would fair if they were analyzed in such a short time frame.


Turtles said...

I am so sorry that this has happened. Are you going to talk to her about it or just drop her? Knowing me, I'd be so angry, I wouldn't even go see her, but I wouldn't recommend that. I think you should talk to her, find out why she reported what she did. Have her clarify and you clarify anything she misunderstood or totally mis-read. Let us know what you decide.

On a side note, things are much better here and I actually blogged. I'll email you later and let you know what had happened with us here.

Polar Bear said...

I'm so sorry to hear that the report was so far off from the mark. I'm not surprised really. A lot of pdocs are quacks. They couldn't be "real" doctors.

I once had a report done on me too, but the pdoc was very spot on. It freaked me out.

Brony said...

I'm going to go and talk to her. I want to find out what I said that lead her to such conclusions. I will also bring in the letter from my mom and Hubby. I've had a few friends offer to write letters as well.

I understand where the verbal abuse came from, but that was in the past. It seems like she took past events and made them present and bigger. I also get the feeling or hope that her notes were just hard to read. I mean she heard that I was let go from one job and decided or concluded that since I never stay anywhere long it must have been all jobs.

She heard that I was easily distracted in school and jumbed to the idea of class clown.

Perhpas I only gave hlaf a picture and she filled in the rest. I just wish that she would have asked for clarification.

She heard me say that I have a bad temper and assumed it was around or directed at the children. Usually it is directed at myself or occationally hubby. Either way it is never physical. I jus don't have that in me. I was beat up at 16 and just stood there and took. I had no reason to physical hurt her.

I don't know. I wonder sometimes why I bother going or what it is that I am looking for. I mean is my life that bad that I need all this help?

If she so easily painted this dark picture of me, what picture are others painting?

Anne Hillebrand said...

We have some updates at, Brony.

Come see us.


Gianna said...

Wow...that is truly awful. I have to say, I wouldn't even consider seeing her again if I had to pay for it. She should pay you for having to correct her report.

I'm so sorry. I would be in a rage. You seem to be handling it very well.

Ruth said...

This happened to me recently, after I was 'sacked' by a shrink for 'non-compliance' (i.e. refusing to see a third shrink in addition to the existing two). And I thought I was just one of the 'worried well', dealing with the usual inner-city chick stuff - men, mothers, money, the mongrels I have to work for... My psychohorrorscope for 2007 reads as follows:

1. Nervous breakdown
2. Suicide attempt
3. Involuntary hospitalisation

I'm just sorry that my GP had to receive a letter to this effect, given that the shrink made it very clear that it would be his responsibility to deal with the fall-out of all of the above.

I'd choose cut-and-run over confrontation, but good luck with whatever you decide to do.

michael said...

Sorry to read of your experience brony.

One of the things that annoys me the most about a lot of psychiatrists is the way they appropriate the life narratives of others and twist or misrepresent them to fit their own agendas. Maybe they're all frustrated novelists.

Sounds to me that your p-doc has sewed a 'bipolar disorder' straightjacket and is now trying to trim you to fit it. I guess your response should be informed by considerations of what you think her motives are and whether you are happy to swap your current diagnoses for a new one (keeping in mind that the old ones will stick to you for a while anyway).

Depending on where you are, certain diagnoses can open the door to services and benefits that would be closed to you otherwise. They can also be used to stigmatise, disempower and set the stage for coercive treatment. None of this should be used to leap to conclusions about your p-doc's motives - just the possible consequences of her actions.

Before you decide about trading in your mental health label for this year's fashionable model, you could have a look at this article by Australian consumer activist Merinda Epstein [PDF]. But give it a miss if you don't like four letter words.

Marissa Miller said...

I am sorry to hear that. I've never gotten a report and don't know what it would even say. I'm lucky if I see my Pdoc for 5 minutes. He'd never know the "real" me apart from my "classic" case.

Perhaps you're already in the process of this, but you're better off finding someone who listens AND is accurate.

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