- Understand and accept anxieties and anger. Understand that the individual may not be able to do certain things. Know that the individual should not make any major decisions. Realize that the anger is not directed at you. See the behaviours as part of the illness.
- Don’t try to diagnose or offer medication advice (you are not the doctor)
- Learn how to communicate effectively (honestly and openly), try to avoid common communication barriers such as labeling, blaming, judging…
- Be supportive – find out what the individual needs, offer a shoulder to lean on, rub the individual’s back… This includes focusing on the positives, even during set backs.
- Listen attentively – sometimes saying nothing is better than saying the wrong thing. Keep your body language open and relaxed (arms at your side on your lap, facing the individual, nodding of the head). Use verbal cues (hum, oh yeah, oh, I see…)
- Make the environment as comfortable and safe as possible for the individual and others in the home, especially if the individual self-mutilates or is suicidal. A comfortable environment is usually a quite, familiar setting. A safe environment is free of any possible “tools”, such as knifes, razor blades, strings…
- Prepare yourself mentally, spiritually and emotionally – you will have to be strong and likely do more than usual around the house. Part of these means watching for triggers and signs that the individual is slipping.It is important that you do not lose yourself in all of it. You need to keep your sanity.
- Keep interactions calm and nonthreatening (low voice, no confrontational issues)
- Set personal limits. Know when you need help. Also be clear in what you expect from the individual.
- Treat the individual with respect. Do not belittle the individual or the individual’s thoughts/feelings. Talk to the individual at an age appropriate level. If he/she is an adult, then treat him/her like one.
- Help the individual to set and achieve realistic goals. Start with short term goals then slowly focus on longer term ones.
- Get as much information as you can about mental illness.
- Most importantly, love the individual unconditionally.
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41 comments:
Ideally, a lot of those things are how we should treat each person, regardless of their medical condition.
Thanks for that list. I have a SIL w/ depression and borderline personality, as well. We try to be very supportive and positive. We still struggle with all the lies, though. Do you think it's best to ignore them, or confront her on them?
This is one of the best TTs I've ever seen! I think this list will definitely help a lot of people to support someone who suffers form mental illness. I know that when I was going through depression, friends and family didn't know how to help and sometimes made things worse. Hopefully this TT reaches lots of people!
Great list...I like blogs that teach me things
Mines up! Dont forget to vote on a name at
www.thechristopherfamily.blogspot.com
Very helpful list... I suffer with infertilty, and many of those work for me as well!
Helpful list! I suffer with infertility and many of these crossover.
I think those are excellent tips for any relationship.
Thanks for stopping by.
Very true and valuable advice.
Those are some really great helpful ways. I especially like the communicating without judging. Everyone has a different view of things, and listening to what someone has to say and not take things out of context!
Wonderful list.
Great list!
excellent list!
Blessings, Karla
What a great list! May I add one more?
Depending on the person, I find that active listening works well. Active listening is rephrasing what that person is saying.
"So, Joe, what I hear you saying is that you really feel down today and just dont feel like getting out of bed. Is that right?"
Brony, I am truly proud of you. Your blog is nothing less than outstanding. Happy TT!
There are a couple of good books for family members to read (specifically for those that deal with those of us that have BPD). One is called I Hate You, Don't Leave Me..and the other is something like Stop Walking on Eggshells.
Sally - I'd confront her. Why? Because I am firm believer (having BPD) that we should not be allowed to use it as an excuse for BAD behavior. Lying is bad behavior. Period.
Great list. :) Those are all wonderful ways to help someone who suffers from mental illness. Especially learning to just listen, and loving them unconditionally.
Thanks for sharing. :) Happy T13. :)
That's a great list. Amazing how people can't do such "simple" and logical things. I have battled infertility and although it's a completely different condition, I got a lot of the same/similar comments.
Thanks for stopping by.
Great list! I agree with Jay though. My TT is up here!
Thanks for sharing this list. My husbands grandmother suffered from mental illness. Thanks for teaching me something new today:)
Thank you for writing this. Sometimes you just can't think of what to do, and it helps to read a post like this for ideas.
Wonderful advice. Hope your Thursday is going well.
Hugs coming your way :)
well done list.
thanks for visiting my TT.
That a really interesting list-- something to think about for sure.
Thanks for visiting my TT!
I'm gonna print and post this on my refridge to read every day so I will GET it!
Great list...lots of good information that I know will help.
Once again, another great list!
Happy TT!
This is a good list. Thanks for posting.
As someone who has suffered from depression most of my life, I just want to say thank you for posting this list. It's hard for some people to understand what we are going through.
I agree with many of the other comments that we should treat all people in such a manner regardless to if they are ill or not.
Definately good advice.
Very good list, yet again! :O) thanks for visiting my TT, and for your supportive comments. Happy TT!
Nice list, especially since it seems everyone always wants to get involved.
great list... includes a lot of what i tell my hubby after we (i) have a bad day/episode/what-have-you.
thanks for stopping by me!
What a great list! I'm going to try to think of how to send this to my father without "starting anything". I think we could benefit from this.
Thank you for this. My husband and I are dealing with a newly diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic alzheimer's mom (his) - and sometimes, these tips are easy to forget in the frustration.
Thanks for visiting my TT!
Great Post!
Thanks.
Thank you so much. I have a couple very close people in my life who suffer from severe depression. It's so hard to understand, but I do my best.
Have a great weekend.
Boy, does that hit home today. I've been having a chronic fatigue flare-up, and my family could have used the list today.
Thanks for this list - it's another great one that I'm sure a lot of people will find useful. I have a friend who's hubby has depression and they think maybe bipolar disorder, this will help me when I'm around him; thanks!
Excellent list, Brony. Thanks for posting it. Arming yourself with as much info as possible is key, because lack of information is where stigma starts.
Great list! Very informative!
I think it's important also to be patient and understanding that things can't be 'fixed' overnight, the person will not be instantly better even if you do everything right, especially with all types of depression.
You know, I don't personally know anyone with a mental illness; however, these are great, respectful ways to deal with anyone who is going through a stressful time and needs some extra respect and understanding...
My T13 is up!
Great list-very helpful!
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